Tuesday, November 10, 2009


I never drew flowers or pretty things. Chester Gould was my art hero and my plan was make all humans ugly and memorable. Use the blackest ink draw the lines heavy and make them fight.
I read alot of Norse tales and they were violent and a little cruel. That appealed to me. I liked reading about loki's offspring being so evil they were vapor and they had to pick a form to appear before Odin. One appeared as a wolf his greed was destruction. The next was a serpent he dug slow death. The last one had a thirst for "withering" this was the creepiest one of all and took the form of a woman. Half human half corspe.

How can you not be inspired to draw dark imagery.

I will never read about emo vampires or schools for witches I'd rather read the Bell Jar or High Cotton. I like the short story in High Cotton about the drifter that is roped into a pit fightwith a human. Heads on sticks drying in the sun like beef jerky
I don't feel connected to todays art. Computer generated punk posters, grown men painting little fuzzy critters playing with naked girls art shows dedicated to saturday morning tv shows and over priced plastic figures that look like they came from a junk store.
What did they read growing up cereal boxes?

Monday, June 8, 2009

Not my Job

I am afraid to answer my phone. Getting calls from random people asking about work. Makes me feel uncomfortable. I get nervous, I know they don't like me. They just want my money.

Monday, April 6, 2009

No way says No Policy

Punk Fest 2oo9. MTL HC

All the bands must be from the early 80's and have at least 2 original members. I can count them on 2 hands we had a good underground scene. This could be interesting my highschool reunion fizzled and I was feeling nostalgic for the past.

Been asked several times to play and I say no you can't afford me. This year I decided a family visit and hardcore reunion would be a fun way to travel.

The promoter booked a tiny club, strike one.

The promoter doesn't answer my emails, strike two

Each band is promised a 1984 style payment... strike three

After bitching my day rate is more than each bands guarantee, I got more silence. I am not taking a week away from work, paying air fare to make a few rolls of pennies.

I thought it would be nice to see the gang but the gang is mad at me. I shouldn't have whined about the money. "Team Anarchy" hates me.

I finally tracked down the elusive singer he lives above the tree line. If he does it I'll do it.

"No, I can't take time away from work". That was that, problem solved.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Being stalked by "Experts"

I have been one royal bitch. I have figured out why I have been so crabby because people are in my face like flies. I must be one big turd because they want to take a piece of me.

1. “Let’s Start A Business Together – We’re A Team!” What? You want to start a business with me? Because you’ve got ideas?? Thank you! I really, really, really need people with ideas! Especially from people who have no sewing skills or marketing experience to speak of. Why…that’s pure GOLD! Thank you sooooo much!!!! Oh, and you want an 80-20% split? I guess that’s only fair, you getting 80% and me doing ALL OF THE WORK, but hey you worked so hard for that 80% with YOUR IDEAS, why nobody else has ideas anymore. God bless you!!!!!! I’m always looking for people with no technical skills, gosh, thank you for trying to invade what is already a successful business, but God, it’s all about YOUR IDEA$$!!!! Where have you been all my life?

2. “I Can Do What You Can Do-We’re Equals, Y’Know.” Thanks for making me feel like I have no talent, I really appreciate your ignorant condescending attitude. By the way, I can also do what you can do: I can sit on my ass all day bragging about how I can produce the same amount of work as other people, and really do absolutely nothing, you great equalizer, you. I guess that’s a talent…on Skid Row. So you can do what I can do? Can you work 48 hours straight without sleep pumping out 50 outfits all by yourself? Can you make a prom dress for a bickering Filipino mother and daughter the night before the bitch’s “big night”? Can you make a wedding dress and a heavy metal rocker outfit at the same time, yeah, Miss Big Talent, let’s talk about multi-tasking, how many different outfits can you make on the same day?

Oh, and by the way, I have this great idea. Shut your fucking mouth.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The ugliest night in tinsel town

I worked on the Oscars. I had no idea how this award show riles people up like nothing I ever experienced. It was a new kind of lust, everyone wanted to be next to a star, hoping that a little of the magic will rub off on them.

Everyone was hungry from the caterers, the security guards and the wardrobe grunts. They shoved and elbowed talked a littele louder laughed a little longer. The body launguage screamed ,"Look at me I wanna be special too!"

Maybe this will be the day they get discovered and whisked away to be a star. I felt like I was living the last part of the movie "Day of the Locust". I was waiting for the big stomping scene but I realised it was them stomping on my head all night. That's when I felt betrayed.

I am a realist not a dreamer I was hired to mend other designer's gowns, sew on buttons hem pants not mingle or be a star. My team made sure I never spent time with anyone important. The stars were for them I had the stage managers, production managers if there were animals I'd probably get them as well. This party sucked and I couldn't wait to bust loose. The end of the night my "friends" separated themselves from me to look for the parties.

Good luck. I knew they were being played as well. No parties were waiting for them

Friday, February 6, 2009

Wookie Gurl

She was big like a wookie, grimaced and made noises like one. I think she chopped down trees in her spare time and carried the logs on her back for fun. My friend made me meet her on set; she seemed mild mannered and smiled at the right places. We traded numbers.
I needed an extra set of hands and called. She was not available, said she was out of state. Fine, I don't want to rush things. I suggested she meet with me when she had time. She called and said she had time. I was busy, the place was a mess, but that's how it's going to be when I work.
I opened the door and noticed she dragged her friend along. Not cool. The mild mannered girl was pretty aggressive with her side kick. They helped themselves to a tour of my place, and it made me a little uncomfortable.
She bought samples, they were pretty fantastic and I wanted one. Fifty dollars. Thirty, maybe.
If I was Mattel she would be hired, but I make clothes, not plush toys. I need to see pants, dresses, button holes, hems. With plush toys you make and break rules
I had no idea of her skill and how all of this will help me.
I was beginning to feel my request to bring her own machine to work with me was too much to ask. I have nice equipment and didn't want to share. She walked towards my most expensive machine and said, " I'm all about this one! I used one at my last job. It's so easy!" I wasn't sure if she was being enthusiastic or condesending, then I thought about paying for repairs because she was bluffing.
Why did my friend say we would be a good match to work together? I try to be slick, not homemade . I think my space is too small for her and all her quirks.

Big crafty girl thought she was going to take over my work space and show me how to use my machines while I paid rent, paid her and watched in awe.

I don't think so.

The ME Generation

I got sucked in to Facebook. It used to be fun sending drinks, getting toys, finding old friends. It's changed and I'm not liking it as much every post is a commercial for some one that spends too much time online and not enough time in the real world.

"Join my fan club, be my fan!" Is this how they pay the bills? If your stuff was all that it would be on tv or in an art gallery generating an income. You would not be shilling your crap online with a bunch of other egomaniacs. Everyone's selling and I'm not buying any of it.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Voyage to the bottom of the Masculine Brain

" Your not supposed to marry playmates you jerk off to them!"

Thanks Andy.

I had a bad day at work I spent 12 hours with a bunch of old school guys that thought success meant a big home on a hill a wide screen TV and a bevy of big titted blondes. The ring leader was a rock singer in a band well past their prime. They would have been reduced to playing supermarket openings and state fairs if reality TV didn't film his life and give him another 15 minutes. He has a room full of yes men all wanting a piece of his approval with their sloppy blondes, second hand luxury cars and homes in the valley.

Everyone went out of their way to make me know they thought I was a freak for not embracing their opinions of what's hot. They were shocked to hear I am happily married. Sixteen years. "What no sex with others?" Sorry no cheating, orgies or free love wife swapping. Somebody put these guys in the museum of sex under 70's relics.

More proof about being stuck in the past Punk rock is still a threat.

I couldn't even pretend be interested in their strip mall halter topped permed hair 70's planet.